An Open Book
Hello. I know the consistency on this blog as been…less than acceptable the last couple weeks. I’ve been in a state of feeling “stuck” so to speak; leaving me feeling uninspired to write…or do much of anything outside of the many things I just have to get done day in and day out. If you’ve ever felt stuck, you know it’s not a great feeling. And getting yourself out of it is no easy feat.
Unfortunately this feeling has been coming all too often over the past few months as I try to navigate through this thing called life. As I constantly roam to find my purpose, seemingly dissatisfied with “Working Mom & Wife” as my lifetime résumé header, some days I just struggle to decipher if I’m really living up to my potential. Or if I’m just spinning in circles.
Today has been one of those days. No, this week has been one of those days. And it’s only Tuesday night.
So do you know what I’ve decided to do? I’ve decided that as I sit on our far too uncomfortable computer chair in front of this cute little MacBook that needs a new battery so I can sit on our comfy couch instead (hmmm…maybe that’s the first thing I should take care of?), I’m going to finally close out my work email at 9:40 p.m. (again), and I’m going to crash my own pity party. For the umpteenth time, I’m going to push forward.
Recognition and awareness is the first hurdle to get over, right? I told my girlfriend the other day about this feeling of defeat and her response surprised me.
You? But you always seem so…ok with everything.
There you have it. I have officially mastered the art of fooling people. I always wondered when I’d have that one down pat! I suppose that’s a good thing in some twisted way. After all, I can’t carry my sour veneer into work, and I certainly don’t want to carry it into my cheerfully perfect daughter’s life, or even my husband’s if I can help it. So it seems I’ve done quite well at keeping it inside. Because in all seriousness, when do I have time to address it anyway?
Well, now is the time.
It’s time to take responsibility for this feeling. I tend to think we as humans find it easier to point at everything and anything around us as reasons why we are the way we are. We have a hard time accepting that we might actually have more control over our situation and lives than we think. While there are so many things I don’t have control of every day that can affect me, I can choose to refocus and disengage my mental state from succumbing to the damage all those uncontrollable situations and people can create.
Life is hard, and let me tell you, I’m learning that having everything neatly lined and perfect on the outside does not just mean you’re neatly lined and perfect on the inside. I tend to let myself pretend it does, but maintaining the perfect exterior image is the easy part for me.
Richmond & Style takes a different turn starting today. Last September when I started this blog I promised to be an open book, and as I embark on this journey of turning the page and finding what the rest of this book holds, I want to share it with you. If you’re out there and feeling stuck or feeling like you want more out of life, I hope my blog can inspire you in some way. I hope it can show you you’re not alone and—of course—offer a wide array of style to encourage you to live life beautifully on the inside and out.
Which reminds me…I have NOT forgotten about the braid tutorial video I’ve received so many requests for and owe you! I just need to find a few minutes to sit down and record it in daylight so the quality isn’t as terrible as it could be. With these shorter fall days already creeping on me it's already dark when I put Adelyn to bed at night. The video tuturial is coming, I promise!!